LINGER

Online. Always online. Always there.

Can I not see you for a second? It's bad enough that you linger in my head like cigarette smoke. Do I really have to feel your presence every time I log on?

Dammit.

I know, I know, I should relish every moment, every emotion. Live life, right? Accept that I am so friggin' drawn to you it's beginning to sound hilarious. And because I'm so doggedly positive about my life now, it should be okay. But hey, sometimes it's just so...argh!

Like right now. It's nearly 3 am, for crying out loud. And you're still awake. Apparently, we're the only two people who are.

Like everyday. It just can't be, and yet you're there. You're just...there. Always.

What's the point?!? Is there a point?

"God doesn't give us what we don't need." So why are you here? Are you here so I can be with you? Or are you here so I can make the difficult choice NOT to (want to) be with you?

Times like this, I just shake my head and say, argh.